A local equivalent of Murphy’s law in Communist Romania stated that, if you had been waiting long enough for a bus to come and decided to light a cigarette, the bus would come before you even had the time to enjoy your cancer stick.
I was confronted with yet another proof of this perverse natural law last week, as I was trying to start my new life as a student at Stanford without any luggage or other form of wardrobe. It had already been 6 days since KLM was tracking my two suitcases and their customer support website was showing the same disconcerting message “Tracking continues. Please check back later.”
As you may remember from my initial post on this blog, I had lost all hope of ever recovering them and was in the middle of a Stoic exercise in detachment and resigned acceptance. Truth be told, I was getting tired of going every day to the American Apparel store for yet another T-shirt (I was expecting the “Man, you’ve got an obsession!” line, but the guys there took pity on me instead and gave me a discount).
With Week 0 and the opening dinner (where shorts were not an option, our Director of Student Life advised) steadily approaching, I decided not to take any chances and went to Macy’s to get myself an emergency wardrobe for the beginning of the first quarter.
As it turns out, Macy’s was having a summer sale so I was able to get some very nice clothes for a more than reasonable price. Of course, when I added the amounts on each receipt, the total no longer seemed so reasonable. But what could I do? I told myself I had chosen the best option to mitigate the effects of this unexpected “clothing crisis”.
Late at night, just before going to sleep, I decided to run one more search on the KLM website. I did it hopelessly, as I have never truly believed in miracles. You probably guessed by now. The message on the website proved once again Murphy’s implacable law. The status read “Delivery initiated” for both suitcases.
Now you may imagine I started screaming hysterically and throwing things around, but you have to remember I had absolutely lost all hope of ever recovering my clothes. Upon seeing the message, I was overwhelmed with unspeakable joy. It felt as if I had received an unexpected super-present from somebody who really knew my taste in clothing and had gotten me all the items on my wishlist.
As I was closing my MacBook, my eyes filled with tears, I remembered what “Tanti Zizi”, my old Jewish landlord, once told me after recovering my lost keys (I had been looking for them the entire morning and there was no backup available):
You see, my dear, this is the happiness of the pauper: he rejoices in finding what he has lost…
Glad you got your stuff back :>
you can always return things at Macy’s and any other store
Yeah, that’s the great thing in the US. The clothes are not only cheaper, but you can also return them if you have the receipt and no one looks at you as if you were some kind of vermin. I’m definitely missing the somewhat short time spent there.
I have the utmost respect for you, your work, and your accomplishments. Please know that if I comment on here, it’s because I am trying to help. I don’t mean to insult you. Your posts remind me of my first years in the US, so I read them as often as I can.
You definitely have a good command of the language. I would suggest that you simplify your writing a little bit. Americans tend to like very simple sentences.
For example: “A local equivalent of Murphy’s law in Communist Romania stated that, if you had been waiting long enough for a bus to come and decided to light a cigarette, the bus would come before you even had the time to enjoy your cancer stick.”
You may change some words around. Just some suggestions:
Since you mention that the law is in Romania, you don’t really need to write “local.” You could write something like, ” an equivalent or example of M.’s law in Communist Romania stated that if you decided to light a cigarette while waiting for a bus, the bus would arrive before you had the time to enjoy your cancer stick.”
Another example:
“I was confronted with yet another proof of this perverse natural law last week, as I was trying to start my new life as a student at Stanford without any luggage or other form of wardrobe. It had already been 6 days since KLM was tracking my two suitcases and their customer support website was showing the same disconcerting message “Tracking continues. Please check back later.”
“I was confronted with proof of this perverse natural law last week when I started my new life as a student at Stanford without any luggage or wardrobe. Despite my two suitcases missing for 6 days, their customer support website was still displayed the same disconcerting message “Tracking continues. Please check back later.”
Ah, writing too fast. I meant “was still displaying”
@Virginia: you make some excellent points, but intention is often more important than brevity. In my reading of the 1st excerpt, there seems to be an intended sequence of actions: wait for the bus, (almost implies- getting bored) decide to light a cigarette.” Your rephrasing does sound better but overlaps two actions, thus glossing over a subtle accumulation of actions. This is not to say that your feedback is not valuable. On the contrary, you’re right on: wordiness is strongly discouraged here. But… it depends on the context, intention and a lot more…
other than that, this feedback could be a little overwhelming … that’s just my viewpoint (no intention to speak for anyone)
[...] :: read the rest of this entry on bucurenci.com [...]
@Virginia, as I said, I am partly doing this to improve my English, so feedback will always be welcome. I may sometimes decide not to act on it, but I will never take it personally.
Wow, cancer stick, seriously…from a guy that openly admitted taking drugs and whatnot in the past. Come on, i understand trying to blend in Aseptica, US, but this is too much…